Wednesday, January 30, 2013


I have been doing some serious decluttering.
I have been decluttering emotionally, physically and in our house.
I have to tell you it's a wonderful feeling to be getting back to me.
To feel comfortable in my own skin.  To feel confident in the relationships that I have.
And to let go of the toxic things in my life

This hasn't been a quick fix type of thing.
I have been going through this process for the last 2 years.
I know that sounds like for forever, but baby steps are best!

I have realized finally that no one makes decisions for me.
That I can say no to people, even though I still feel bad sometimes.
I know that even though I'm alone most of the day, I need to do something just for me.
That I owe no one an explanation.
That I am who I am if you don't like it, that's your opinion and I can't change it.
That even though I don't like it, I can't fix everything for everyone else.
That sometimes even though I don't agree, I'm just going to walk away.
That it's better to be silent than to say something.

I have had to make changes once again in my diet.
My stomach that has been a constant problem for the past 3 years, is just not going to change.
So it's back to what will probably just be how it is going to be.
And that's okay once you do something for so long it becomes a habit.

Our home is slowly being cleaned room by room.
I think I'm in a nesting pattern waiting for warm weather, calves to come and all the business of spring!
It's a great feeling to get rid of things that I know we don't need or won't use.
And it's like a whole new room after I rearrange and change the look of  a room.
I have even painted and hung photos and paintings that have been hidden away.

For me it has been a long process for many reasons.
I haven't wanted to face my demons.  Or for me the fact that I feel like I have to take on the world.
It's been a journey that my wonderful Mister has helped me so much with.
And I still struggle every day, but with my Mister and my babies everything will fall into place.
I have a wonderful network of a select friends who are amazing and supportive.

So Thank You to those of you have been with me.
Through the tears, fears, the questions and the realizations.
You know who you are and what part you have had.
Without you I would haven't been able to do it.

1 comment:

Buttons said...

Oh I love this post I think I understand completely I spend a lot of time alone and I do understand the pressures you have as a farm woman too so I get this. I also have issues that never seem to leave but I am working on them too.
One step at a time works in every thing we want to get to does it not?
I like your wise words. Good luck but I am sure with the support you have you are going to be just fine. HUGS HUGS B